Forget
by Papillon23
Summary: Let’s just leave, never looking back. Let’s just go and forget everything. Forget our pasts, our job, all of it. It’ll just be the two of us, and we’ll never have to look back, never.”If you could turn and start over, leaving everything behind, would you?


"I need a holiday, a very long holiday…I don't expect I shall return. In fact, I don't mean to…" The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkein

It had been yet another long day in a series of long days at the Special Victims Unit. A man had brutally raped fifteen teenage girls, leaving ten near death in permanent comas, four paralyzed from the waist down, and one dead; she had suffered the least. He had been convicted of fourteen counts of rape and assault, one count of murder, and fourteen counts of attempted murder and sentenced to the death penalty after he confessed, with absolutely no remorse, to all charges. He never received the injection, though. He committed suicide in his cell, using shredded pieces of clothing to strangle himself as he sat on the floor. He died with a small smile on his face, knowing he had beaten the system. Justice had not been served. Even when they had won, they had lost.  
Detectives Benson and Stabler sat at the bar down the street, attempting to drink away their sorrows. They were both still on their first beer because neither was truly in the mood to become intoxicated. It was barely after six o'clock pm. Cragen had given them the afternoon off, conceding defeat to the fact that they would both be out of it if he had bothered to keep them there.  
Elliot sighed, leaning against the back of his chair, running his hand through his raven hair. "I need a vacation," he said, exhaling slowly and tiredly. "Sometimes, I think about just leaving, you know? Going, I don't know, anywhere, just leaving everything behind, never looking back." He looked at her sincerely with a sad glint in his eyes.  
Olivia nodded knowingly, understanding fully the weight of his words, having felt the same way herself so many times before. "Let's go," she said seriously. Elliot, who had been staring absentmindedly out the window, jerked his head back to look at her. "Neither of us have much to stay for anymore. Let's just leave, never looking back. We could go to a small town in the middle of nowhere, change our names and start over. We don't even need to pack. Let's just go and forget everything. Forget our pasts, our job, all of it. It'll just be the two of us, and we'll never have to look back, never"  
The pain she was yearning and so willing to forget was written all over her face even though her features were set as she stared expectantly at Elliot.  
She was right, he knew. All he had left was his kids, and Kathy was fighting to take them away by filing for full custody. She'd win, too, simply because his job prevented him from being around for long. "I couldn't even make the court date," he said to himself bitterly. And all Olivia had left, he though sadly, was the job. She didn't deserve to be alone. It would be easy. All they had to do was leave and never look back, forgetting everything they had been through. It was all so easy, and oh so tempting.  
"Let's go," he agreed, grabbing the keys off the table and leading the way to the Sedan. She followed him eagerly, sitting beside him in the passenger seat. He started the engine, heading south towards a future that held no promise, no meaning, and with no destination.  
They had been driving for nearly an hour in silence, avidly awaiting the simple serenity of the small town life and the ignorant bliss of forgetting to remember. They had left the tall buildings of the city behind, following a seemingly endless patch of trees and hills, all beckoning them onward, encouraging them to forget.  
Elliot looked to Olivia, giving her a small smile which she returned, both trying to lose themselves in each other's eyes. Elliot forced his eyes back onto the road, but placed his hand on top of hers between them so as not to break the connection. They were in this together now, to the end.  
Elliot's cell phone rang from its place in the cup holder, interrupting the silence. Cragen's name flashed from the outer LCD screen, confirming the two detectives' suspicions and causing them to sigh simultaneously.  
"I guess it was nice while it lasted," Elliot said quietly. Olivia nodded in return, focusing her gaze out the window. As little as they both had left to stay for, it meant too much to them to just walk away from. Elliot would continue to fight for part custody of his kids; he loved them more than anything, he couldn't just give up and leave. And the job meant everything to Olivia. After all that she had been through, that job was all she had and by leaving it she would lose herself. Nonetheless, the notion that at any time they could pick up and leave and forget everything was enough to satisfy their sadness.  
"Stabler," Elliot spoke into the phone, turning back towards the city and everything they wanted so much to leave but never really could, back to the job they both loved and hated, back into the harsh reality of the real world of which there was no escape. And as much as part of them wanted to continue south into a forgetful future, they wouldn't have it any other way than the way it was. 


End file.
